tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post151653532316241295..comments2023-08-09T03:21:13.354-05:00Comments on Letters from Gehenna: The World on a Slant: Or A Serious Expression In The Middle Of JulyDw3t-Hthrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11584245136407694660noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-67534323942093413282010-03-05T15:42:40.623-05:002010-03-05T15:42:40.623-05:00I'd forgotten so many of these emotions! I th...I'd forgotten so many of these emotions! I think the important thing is to keep on taking time for yourself... During the time I worked two jobs (I am totally amazed by such stamina now, since I can't even rouse myself to get to the bank before it bloody closes...) I finally got to the point where I <i>just gave up trying to do that</i> and gave myself over to the whole soccer mom thing... and then (calling John Updike) I wasn't exactly the nicest person to be around. <br /><br />Dirty secret, unearthed by Betty Friedan: self-sacrifice is NOT good for the children--for precisely this reason! Who wants to be around a (choose one) chronically pissed off person or a martyr all the time?<br /><br />Anyway, nice to visit again and touch base, hope all is well w/you. I am having another grandchild (male! OMG!) in June.Daisy Deadheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17993200276152025235noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-2347074706348665122010-01-21T09:19:30.678-05:002010-01-21T09:19:30.678-05:00first of all, screw the towels. Sleeping baby WIN...first of all, screw the towels. Sleeping baby WINS - because when baby doesn't sleep, EVERYONE loses.<br /><br />It's hard to balance out lives - I have a bad habit of motivating my writing with the idea that there are people waiting to read it. Which makes it yet another obligation and not an enjoyment. It's REALLY hard to balance.<br /><br />But something that's really REALLY important - when Momma ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy. If the plane's going down - put your own mask on first.<br /><br />Sounds like it might be time to get your mask on. And the hell with people that think it ain't right. They're not living your life.Vievahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15156288385744214737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-47356335144505914482010-01-20T17:59:19.634-05:002010-01-20T17:59:19.634-05:00This is fairly similar to what I work on with my c...This is fairly similar to what I work on with my coach about rewards, in a way. I'm actually not very good at it, but the gist is something like:<br /><br />Soothe the baby down to sleep? Surf webcomics.<br />Enter a box of books? Play a computer game.<br />Get X chore done? Watch a TV show (okay, you might not want that one specifically :) ).<br /><br />The idea being twofold - that if you go for chore to chore, or baby-task to baby-task, then you don't get any recharge time in between. On the other hand, for me at least, if I fill up time with random stuff (for me, that would probably be with extraneous research or web-surfing), then there's an underlying feeling that I haven't earned it by getting at least some stuff done.<br /><br />Ideally, the reward cements a good feeling for having accomplished something, plus is something fun and relaxing. In general, I definitely find being poised between the two to be exhausting as well (as another data point, if it helps).<br /><br />The tricky part is balancing them together. The other tricky part is learning to determine when you have open time (that can be used for tasks or relaxation / rewards), because it can be nebulous and kind of slip by when you don't even notice. <br /><br />As to what recreations are "proper" and new assumptions, I'm not sure who is defining that term here, but...do you really need to be proper? *grin* I've got a book called _Mojo Mom_ upstairs that talks about keeping / building your own life when you have kids, which seems somewhat relevant to that.<br /><br />(I will say that in my mind, when it comes to the baby's needs versus random chores like washing towels, the baby can absolutely win every time. Truthfully, when it comes down to your needs versus washing the towels, your needs win as well, but if that's a consistent thing, looking into why that is would probably be a good idea.)<br /><br />-gelflingAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com