tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post4222393953082238605..comments2023-08-09T03:21:13.354-05:00Comments on Letters from Gehenna: The World on a Slant: Not Exactly the Wrong QuestionsDw3t-Hthrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11584245136407694660noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-7234225171631080252009-07-25T20:28:21.536-05:002009-07-25T20:28:21.536-05:00I so recognise the lack of language: when I occasi...I so recognise the lack of language: when I occasionally bottom I lose all verbal ability. The problem is that if my boundaries are overstepped at that point (and I notice it...) I come up snarling, and most likely fighting - which is why I'm very careful with who I bottom to.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-13919947834725939492009-07-22T14:28:44.552-05:002009-07-22T14:28:44.552-05:00Thank you for this inspiring post. I rambled on ab...Thank you for this inspiring post. I rambled on about the topic (somewhat incoherently, I'm afraid) on my blog.bybloemenhttp://bybloemen.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-34352309783452309172009-07-21T18:22:25.325-05:002009-07-21T18:22:25.325-05:00As difficult as it must be, I kinda wish I had you...As difficult as it must be, I kinda wish I had your sexuality. Slipping into that kind of headspace must be a really tranformative experience.<br /><br />I don't think there's anything I can do to help you through this, but I hope you find your answers eventually!Alcibiadeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00980833765885047405noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-27030355786463014972009-07-21T17:13:32.333-05:002009-07-21T17:13:32.333-05:00Thanks, Dw3t. This encapsulates something I'v...Thanks, Dw3t. This encapsulates something I've been realizing as I look at the kink "community" or scene or whatever it is from the distance of the internet.<br /><br />Much of what people have written speaks very directly to my own experience out here in the middle of nowhere. But a lot of it seems to be more like the rules and regs of an elaborate institution; understandable, but of no real use to me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-68225722434001544472009-07-21T09:38:45.145-05:002009-07-21T09:38:45.145-05:00I don't think "submissive" is always...I don't think "submissive" is always the right term; sometimes what is wanted, or what's going on, might be better described as "responsibility transfer". The point is not to do what you're told; the point is not to have to decide. (Note that there is a ton of language in various Abrahamic religions about having this kind of relationship with God; it's definitely something that has been repeatedly approached via a religious angle.)<br /><br />The general BDSM language gets into a confusion between the meanings of "want" and "need", too.Graydonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09839374676813519438noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-71980581415484321992009-07-21T01:21:27.474-05:002009-07-21T01:21:27.474-05:00Love your writing, as always, Kia.Love your writing, as always, Kia.Daisy Deadheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17993200276152025235noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-69808410813273038282009-07-20T21:53:58.545-05:002009-07-20T21:53:58.545-05:00This issue, that the SOP (safewords) for something...This issue, that the SOP (safewords) for something (BDSM) requires something else (being verbal) and it being painfully obvious to me that that's just not going to work for some of us, is something I have deal with a fair bit at the moment and I don't quite know how to get through without terribly offending people I don't want to offend.Aqua, of the Questionershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03729823323134474391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-19887431252161672712009-07-20T17:22:23.245-05:002009-07-20T17:22:23.245-05:00I find I don't have anything intelligent to sa...I find I don't have anything intelligent to say, but I really enjoyed reading this.<br /><br />Stuff like safewords and SSC and RACK get popular (especially to talk about) because they are nifty ideas for a lot of people and also can help outsiders understand what it is that we do. Reality is way more complicated in all but the most superficial situations.<br /><br />I think the best way for a novice to proceed is cautiously, taking care, paying attention, and resisting greed and selfishness. Hopefully there is a little slack for when mistakes are made.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-31555596319991646792009-07-20T16:42:01.794-05:002009-07-20T16:42:01.794-05:00I have not quite figured out how to explain my sta...I have not quite figured out how to explain my state of mind when I feel centered in my dominance, when I feel like I've ripped back tens of layers instead of one or two. When I first began exploring my sexuality I took it for granted that this was 'top-space,' and I didn't really question it until my most recent sexual explorations where I didn't experience even a hint of altered state. It really threw me for a loop. <br /><br />I'd mentioned it to people completely unfamiliar with kink before, and the easiest way several of them could understand it was as a transcendental spiritual state, something I'd never really thought of it as. Certainly it's spiritual, but not necessarily more so than anything else.<br /><br />Very recently I reached that space for the first time with the person I'm exploring with currently, which was incredibly rewarding, and also very different than the times I'd experienced it before. Often times the catalyst for me is giving pain, but there was no pain in this context, not even the desire for pain.<br /><br />I feel both incredibly satisfied by my current sexual exploration, and also bereft of that state of mind. Also, before I felt like what I had experienced was what there was, and now I realize that I've only paddled in the first few surface feet of the water.Ranathttp://beyondthehills.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-55942119715761005692009-07-20T16:17:17.443-05:002009-07-20T16:17:17.443-05:00I sometimes think I'm at least two kinds of su...<i>I sometimes think I'm at least two kinds of submissive; the service, the devotion, all of that seems a different reality than this blown-open space so full of stars. And yet it's the same thing, somehow, in a way I have yet to be able to articulate, the way the risk-strewn madness at the core snuggles into protocol and ritual and support and making tea on the other side. "Safe" and "sane" only exist in the penumbra of the sorcery, but maybe that's the secret.</i><br />Thank you for this.<br />-Oli<br />(starfrosting on lj)Olihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12881880204638307826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-24191068106890825602009-07-20T14:37:57.776-05:002009-07-20T14:37:57.776-05:00I don't have the right words, but I think I kn...I don't have the right words, but I think I know what you mean. Thank you.Evehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17055554674087590194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-52629128654739488092009-07-20T14:31:06.649-05:002009-07-20T14:31:06.649-05:00This is so so good. It's so hard to make some...This is so so good. It's so hard to make someone understand that, no, when you ask me what I want, it's not that I don't know, it's that I can't tell you. Really. And I feel so guilty about leaving my partner kind of...hanging. Especially if they're new, and while I wouldn't blame them for making the wrong call, they still have to live with the consequences of hurting me.lilcollegegirlnoreply@blogger.com