tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post6775699680355218063..comments2023-08-09T03:21:13.354-05:00Comments on Letters from Gehenna: The World on a Slant: School Daze and the MobsDw3t-Hthrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11584245136407694660noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-5641556062361465592009-04-21T00:00:00.000-05:002009-04-21T00:00:00.000-05:00Huh, what I got was "With your kind of body, the o...Huh, what I got was "With your kind of body, the only man you'll be able to attract is a closeted homosexual", myself, and not before I was more or less an adult.<br /><br />Having a Borderline mother: it'll drive you crazy or it'll make you snap and take a stand against that *thing* that will never waver.<br /><br />Or both. Sometimes it feels to me like both ....Dw3t-Hthrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11584245136407694660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-69476159762906962722009-04-20T20:36:00.000-05:002009-04-20T20:36:00.000-05:00I feel what you're saying. I was severely bullied ...I feel what you're saying. I was severely bullied and sexually abused for four years, at *three different schools*. I almost had no choice but to blame myself; you know the saying "what do all your problems have in common"? The difference for me was that, for the most part, boys utterly ignored me...which reinforced the Girl Mob's message that my lack of tits would only ever earn me male attention from pedophiles. Yes, I was told that. I wasn't so much mocked or excluded, as I was terrorized, told that abuse was what I was *for*, that I drew it naturally and deserved it. That was also what I was getting at home, from my Borderline mother. And there's really no memory in my mind, during those years, of Background people or Adults. The mobs did coalesce on me, and adults did seem distant and far away.<br /><br />The downside was pretty obvious. The submissive posture I'd adopted to placate my mother at home just earned me more hostility at school. The upside was that I finally snapped. It touched off a spark of deep-seated rebellion inside me at the tender age of 13, far deeper than most teenage rebellion. When I gave the finger to the bullshit game the world was asking me to play, as a girl and as an abuse victim, I really, really meant it.<br /><br />I planted myself in opposition to something, 17 years ago, something demented and soul-killing. Something that lived inside my mother, inside my schoolmates, inside many of my teachers, inside much of our culture. I declared myself the enemy of that *thing*, and I've never renounced that position.<br /><br />And I think it's acutally helped me live a stronger, happier and more meaningful life, than if the torture hadn't been bad enough to turn me.<br /><br />Much love, as usual...Tajavihttp://www.erosdiscordia.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-18923078741740662602009-04-16T13:20:00.000-05:002009-04-16T13:20:00.000-05:00I suspect that I had the advantage of having a lar...I suspect that I had the advantage of having a large enough school that that level of coalescing into uniformity was less likely -- less reinforcement of the "Everyone pick on this person" due to dilution of all the people who just don't care, plus other social entertainments.Dw3t-Hthrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11584245136407694660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-8673273747656660702009-04-16T09:40:00.000-05:002009-04-16T09:40:00.000-05:00Ouch. Your description of Boy Mobs and Girl Mobs i...Ouch. Your description of Boy Mobs and Girl Mobs is pretty much a spot on description of my junior high experience, except that in my case the Girl Mob eventually coalesced into a uniformly hostile enough entity that I was able to write them off as thoroughly as I did the Boy Mob. As lonely as it was to be in an eight-person class with seven other people who made torturing me their hobby, there was a kind of cold comfort in finally knowing that, no, there is no possibility of anything else with these people.Erin C.https://www.blogger.com/profile/18150218510083075031noreply@blogger.com