tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post9142137843988676524..comments2023-08-09T03:21:13.354-05:00Comments on Letters from Gehenna: The World on a Slant: Power, Redux: Revisiting the Last Paragraph of "The Personal Is Political"Dw3t-Hthrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11584245136407694660noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-49997861484329987192007-05-08T13:31:00.000-05:002007-05-08T13:31:00.000-05:00It was generally assumed that I would go forth and...<I>It was generally assumed that I would go forth and do something worthwhile and 'powerful' by my family; because my family's progressive attitudes framed that partially in terms of egalitarianism, and because of the professional-class feminist attitudes I encountered, I picked up -- again, from the way people expressed their assumptions -- that it was my obligation to do such things. The negative terms that people (largely outside my family) used to frame professional-class women who did not pursue powerful roles made it clear that these were not acceptable paths.</I><BR/><BR/>we are sisters under the skin in this regard.<BR/><BR/>thanks for this post.antiprincesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06675693687192822141noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-38979079913371563952007-05-08T12:53:00.000-05:002007-05-08T12:53:00.000-05:00It's a case of assumptions. It was generally assu...It's a case of assumptions. It was generally assumed that I would go forth and do something worthwhile and 'powerful' by my family; because my family's progressive attitudes framed that partially in terms of egalitarianism, and because of the professional-class feminist attitudes I encountered, I picked up -- again, from the way people expressed their assumptions -- that it was my obligation to do such things. The negative terms that people (largely outside my family) used to frame professional-class women who did not pursue powerful roles made it clear that these were not acceptable paths.<BR/><BR/>I've come around to the opinion that embracing such a narrow vision of power is a bad idea. Back when I was working an hourly wage job, what power I wanted was a) to pay my rent and b) to have a job I could leave in the office so I could have my life in the rest of the time. When I left that job, in part because b) was no longer the case, I wound up a wreck because I was too hooked in to the notion that my employment defined my power, and that my power to leverage change in the world on the large scale or generational scale was my value.<BR/><BR/>I've needed to learn to embrace and respect the forms of power that actually work for me and what I do rather than define the 'only real power' as something that I am unlikely -- for situational and character reasons -- to accomplish. I worry when I see people using narrow definitions of power about the kids like me who might come away with the impression that they need to be lawyers, or power executives, or scientists, or whatever else, in order to make a difference in the world.Dw3t-Hthrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11584245136407694660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-89436200730920274342007-05-08T12:18:00.000-05:002007-05-08T12:18:00.000-05:00Hi. I appreciate your qualification that my point...Hi. I appreciate your qualification that my point wasn't that all women need to want a particular thing. I agree with you, any heavy parental or societal expectations about duty or role are far too arduous to be healthy or productive.<BR/><BR/>But I think the expectation that both women and men should be equally invested in being leaders or owners -- people who don't have anyone to report to. That could mean either a company president, an owner of a strip club, a high school principal, or someone running a non-profit. Not that everyone needs to want this, but that if women and men are equally invested in these things, more women will have them, which will IMO be collectively good for women.<BR/><BR/>But it's not an obligation that should rest on an individual woman's shoulders.<BR/><BR/>Take your example -- you were good at math and sciencem, your parents suggested "should be out there being one of those women who proves that there's nothing about having a cunt that precludes producing science. Failure to have this ambition, to strive towards this sort of power, was ungrateful at best, and seen as actively anti-feminist at worst."<BR/><BR/>In my case, I was good at math and science, but my parents' suggestion was instead that the humanities were a purer, more academic, more humanitarian discipline. The idea of doing something that would have leadership or financial implications was vulgar to them. I had to rebel to even go the engineering, business and eventually law route. <BR/><BR/>So I think that if women and men were given an equal starting position, without any "you must be grateful and do this" BS piled on, that would be the ideal scenario. I don't think "must because you're female" is right, but I don't think "shouldn't (for whatever reason)" is either.Octogalorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14052288318330285365noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-85686251874091511582007-05-07T15:43:00.000-05:002007-05-07T15:43:00.000-05:00heh. that links in with a few of the things I've ...heh. that links in with a few of the things I've been talking about lately.<BR/><BR/>I really fear our society sometimes. We've taken the role of nurturer and cut it out of what's expected of men, and now we're trying to cut it out of what's expected of women, too.<BR/><BR/>But we all need nurturing.<BR/><BR/>(and I'm a similar failure if I use the same measure of success. Clearly, I gave that measure up.)Vievahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15156288385744214737noreply@blogger.com