tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post1686748253874128996..comments2023-08-09T03:21:13.354-05:00Comments on Letters from Gehenna: The World on a Slant: Constructing ConsentDw3t-Hthrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11584245136407694660noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-63594567022981595792007-12-26T01:17:00.000-05:002007-12-26T01:17:00.000-05:00You know, Trin, I may chew on doing something like...You know, Trin, I may chew on doing something like that. When I'm home and maybe better-rested.Dw3t-Hthrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11584245136407694660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-69385796705174747542007-12-26T01:14:00.000-05:002007-12-26T01:14:00.000-05:00Oh wow, I had no idea this anthology had stirred u...Oh wow, I had no idea this anthology had stirred up so much controversy already...this was actually my first thought when I got the proposal forwarded to me -- this topic as a submission for the anthology. I think it's something that will probably be overlooked, but it's such a crucial point.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-29773634463307259982007-12-25T00:45:00.000-05:002007-12-25T00:45:00.000-05:00Well, you've seen that I'm the minority here about...Well, you've seen that I'm the minority here about this, but I think that<BR/><BR/>a) you're right on<BR/><BR/>and<BR/><BR/>b) this is EXACTLY the sort of thing that should go in this antho, because what they're asking for is "what does yes mean?"<BR/><BR/>What you're critiquing, the focus on Just Say No culture (of various forms) seems to me to be exactly what the CFP is aimed at critiquing: we did NO MEANS NO, ad: hey look, it didn't work.<BR/><BR/>Well, it kindasorta did in a couple of ways. But not really.<BR/><BR/>That's what they want people writing about, and that'a what you write about here. i'd pretty it up a bit and submit it, honestly.Trinityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06846032433424879965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-9372225986193264142007-12-24T14:44:00.000-05:002007-12-24T14:44:00.000-05:00Oh, really awesome post. Thank you for saying this...Oh, really awesome post. Thank you for saying this.<BR/><BR/>I remember really reeling from each of my first sexual encounters, being traumatized, even though they were consensual -- even enthusiastic -- because even though I was consenting (and in fact initiating, much of the time), I had no idea what I was consenting to. Part of that is that sex is somewhat unknowable beforehand as you say, and part of it is a failure of the adults in my life to talk to me about sex beyond the mechanics of it. To talk to me about why people have sex, what good reasons to have sex are. The reasons in my head were, "Here we are alone in a dark room." I had no concept of things like "I want to experience your body" or even "I want to touch/be touched." It was just that sex was what was supposed to be happening, which is sort of funny, I guess, given that a large portion of it was sex that isn't "supposed" to happen culturally (i.e lesbian).<BR/><BR/>So I do see one important merit of re-centering sex on female pleasure, which is the side-effect of centering it on <I>pleasure</I>, instead of the cultural centering on an abstraction of love-hate-power-taboo.<BR/><BR/>I really didn't understand until I'd been having regular sex for a good while that, oh, of course, we do this because it feels good -- feeling good is the point.S.L. Bondhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15574823753608510026noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-31101081060858173532007-12-24T13:50:00.000-05:002007-12-24T13:50:00.000-05:00Yes! Yes, so well said, yes.I kind of want to say ...Yes! Yes, so well said, yes.<BR/><BR/>I kind of want to say something intelligent about this post, but words are failing me. This is spot on.<BR/><BR/>Especially the "Just Say No" culture, a background that is pervasive and frighteningly invisible at times.<BR/><BR/>I wrote a while back that the BDSM community could learn a lot from sex education, and that sex education could benefit from exposure to BDSM principles, especially those surrounding consent. The question is how to actually get these things articulated in a culture obsessed with shutting sex up.<BR/><BR/>Awesome post.Eileenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17114492562593909677noreply@blogger.com