tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post4655107617879502643..comments2023-08-09T03:21:13.354-05:00Comments on Letters from Gehenna: The World on a Slant: Examining DesireDw3t-Hthrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11584245136407694660noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-6503664388534742262008-06-27T13:19:00.000-05:002008-06-27T13:19:00.000-05:00I found your blog from the Feminist Carnival of Se...I found your blog from the Feminist Carnival of Sexual Freedom and Autonomyl. I've been reading Feministe for years, and I posted in that comments thread. I focused on Jill's question: "are there any good resources online for sex from a feminist perspective? Not blogs, but more along the lines of info sites." The other points made me go "wha??" so I chose to not address them.<BR/><BR/>What interested me was that no one except for me and two other people (as far as I can tell, there were no others) posted links to some good sex resources online. Instead of just giving Jill what she asked for, the comments devolved into creepy arguments about sex and feminism. I thought it was interesting that no one save less than a handful actually answered Jill's question.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-62977909930221772622008-06-12T12:00:00.000-05:002008-06-12T12:00:00.000-05:00once upon a time, a lovely man married to a submis...once upon a time, a lovely man married to a submissive woman told me that he noticed that most subs he knew were absolutely in control of everything outside of their CONSENSUAL (had to capitalize it, because apparently no one friggin' gets it) D/s relationships, and that being submissive was a way for them to give up that control and responsibility for a bit. <BR/><BR/>but whatever the hell the reason is, it's your life, your choice, and your orgasms. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-87285391341780573392008-06-12T01:27:00.000-05:002008-06-12T01:27:00.000-05:00Hello Erin the Lurker!I'm glad that reading some o...Hello Erin the Lurker!<BR/><BR/>I'm glad that reading some of my stuff has been helpful to you in sorting out where you're at. Though I'm sad that you so get where I'm coming from on the whole "cheerfully explain why whatever I do is Wrong" thing.<BR/><BR/>I suppose it's a not uncommon bit of socialisation, but it still stinks on ice, alas.Dw3t-Hthrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11584245136407694660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-78486419680783604282008-06-12T01:16:00.000-05:002008-06-12T01:16:00.000-05:00And, in fact, that the notion that there are 'femi...<I>And, in fact, that the notion that there are 'feminist choices' and 'non-feminist choices' is one of the major factors that drove me the fuck out of feminism.</I><BR/><BR/>I personally think that as long as she's choosing, it's a feminist choice.<BR/><BR/>And if one considers oneself obliged, in one's choices, to consider the impact it will have on other women's potential choices, then one ought to consider the impact on other women's ability to choose to work in the house as well as other women's ability to choose to work in the salaried workforce.Zeborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14926206294826622634noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-13534408171689299102008-06-11T23:13:00.000-05:002008-06-11T23:13:00.000-05:00Lurker, here. As someone who used to read Feminis...Lurker, here. As someone who used to read Feministe and Alas, A Blog every day, I think you're pretty much absolutely right, about all of this. And I say this as someone who used to be fairly anti-D/s, albeit quietly. I still have a lot of emotional issues and some ethical qualms surrounding some of what flies under that flag, but I think much of that has to do with experiencing my own personal submissive feelings as miserable and profoundly unhealthy. Emphasis on "my own personal" -- I'm not generalizing outward, here. A lot of what you and others have written have given me ways to sort of mentally simulate what being healthily submissive or dominant must be like. So for what it's worth, you've gotten through to at least one person.<BR/><BR/><I>It is possible to tune one's level of analysis to make every possible choice wrong, when "examining one's choices". It's easy. It is certainly, given my socialisation and upbringing, the level of analysis that I will automatically gravitate towards: it is so easy to slide to whatever level of analysis will frame me as defective.</I><BR/><BR/>This is most definitely my experience also. It's like how tziyonah describes it above -- "Viewing the world so thoroughly through X philosophical lens that everything you dislike can be vilified for Noble Reasons" -- but inverted. My OCD-riddled brain will very cheerfully supply me with all the ways in which my own interests are idealogically dangerous. And I don't just mean in terms of sexuality. I could probably write you a good long paragraph arguing that my botanical drawings are politically suspect and Not A Worthwhile Use of My Talents, and one of my college art professors would almost certainly be nodding along. <BR/><BR/>This is why I've dropped all the big feminist blogs and most of the political ones (Making Light being the major exception) from my reading list. I can spin arguments against who I am just fine on my own; I don't need to hear it from random strangers too.Erin C.https://www.blogger.com/profile/18150218510083075031noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-86033375065913863212008-06-11T23:08:00.000-05:002008-06-11T23:08:00.000-05:00What I've learned today: "Examine" is a massively...What I've learned today: "Examine" is a massively hot-button word for a lot of people, because <I>way</I> too many passive-aggressive control-freak asshats have <I>way</I> too often used it to mean, "You don't agree with me yet; you must be broken."<BR/><BR/>I despise people who abuse perfectly good words. (Just to be <I>completely</I> clear, that'd be the p-a/c-f asshats I despise, <I>not</I> any of the people who react strongly to those words because of the asshattery, nor those who later use the words without any such agenda, and in ignorance of the prior abuse.)<BR/><BR/>As you probably guessed, I read what I hope to hell is the whole fuckin' thing to date (on, um, one big-name blog, one email list, and at least four, no, I think five, personal blogs) and am a bit overwhelmed.<BR/><BR/>SunflowerSunflowerPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15069913788437731669noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-26108588437824246852008-06-11T18:58:00.000-05:002008-06-11T18:58:00.000-05:00I made the mistake of going back and looking at th...I made the mistake of going back and looking at the comments on the Feministe thread, which have gotten <I>even worse</I> than they were when I looked before.<BR/><BR/>One of these days I'll get over wanting to kneecap everyone who assumes that submission or masochism are equivalent to humiliation or degradation, but I'm afraid it'll be because I'm dead.Dw3t-Hthrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11584245136407694660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-18866485553308599802008-06-11T18:05:00.001-05:002008-06-11T18:05:00.001-05:00Thanks for this. I think that you've stated eloqu...Thanks for this. I think that you've stated eloquently just what is so creepy about that Feministe post and especially the comment thread.GallingGallahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08241627397789129041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-17285129512591553232008-06-11T18:05:00.000-05:002008-06-11T18:05:00.000-05:00This is...actually something I've been thinking ab...This is...actually something I've been thinking about for a while, and may post about at some point, when I'm feeling up to it.<BR/><BR/>Viewing the world so thoroughly through X philosophical lens that everything you dislike can be vilified for Noble Reasons...<BR/><BR/>...is not sane or healthy for <I>anyone</I>.Tziyonahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02682761122562921452noreply@blogger.com