tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post7912499287285690843..comments2023-08-09T03:21:13.354-05:00Comments on Letters from Gehenna: The World on a Slant: And Now The Angry PostDw3t-Hthrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11584245136407694660noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-8492548310238960562009-06-04T18:39:43.218-05:002009-06-04T18:39:43.218-05:00Thanks for posting this - I've lost patience f...Thanks for posting this - I've lost patience for reading the posts & comments, but enjoyed this recap. <br /><br />Nothing else to say that I haven't said before.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-37678598793512779872009-06-01T09:55:58.241-05:002009-06-01T09:55:58.241-05:00@Trinity
At least there are a lot of feminists who...@Trinity<br />At least there are a lot of feminists who aren't anti-BDSM/anti-porn. I'm glad to consider myself one of them. Still haven't given up on the movement. Fighting for gender equality is still so very necessary, we're not even close to gender equality worldwide and within the US. Hopefully more and more feminists will embrace all people with forms of sexuality. I can only hope.<br /><br />@Dw3th<br />I guess growing up I read in advice columns/radioshows/whatever a lot of men asking advice "I like kinky things x,y&z but my female partner is not into them, what do I do?" And then women writing into those stupid magazine advice columns with "My male partner likes x,y&z and isn't he just such a creep?! what should I do?"... So then I figured that my sexuality was very special, prized even, because many men had the same desires I did and from the popular media it seemed like many women did not.<br /><br />Never heard any theoretical arguments against it until the rad-fems.ggg_girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00913576641960791118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-42018381548491362692009-05-31T17:35:12.017-05:002009-05-31T17:35:12.017-05:00@Kiya
Yeah. I was honestly never even interested ...@Kiya<br /><br />Yeah. I was honestly never even interested in feminism at all until I got into kink and heard that they hated me. I thought feminism was this thing that happened that meant we could vote. (And have abortions, but I was pro-life until my teens anyway.)Trinityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06846032433424879965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-17792941962376501432009-05-31T17:33:27.070-05:002009-05-31T17:33:27.070-05:00MP -- gah. Those people. Bite they tiny heads of...MP -- gah. <I>Those</I> people. Bite they tiny heads off.<br /><br />ggg_girl -- Whereas I'm one of the folks like alexandraerin posting over there who grew up in the knowledge that my kink made me a Bad Woman and a Bad Feminist, so the existence of anti-BDSM feminists is just sort of ... normal.Dw3t-Hthrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11584245136407694660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-25565804581788588442009-05-31T17:31:07.771-05:002009-05-31T17:31:07.771-05:00The big anti-BDSM goldmine: Feminism.
Or at least...The big anti-BDSM goldmine: Feminism.<br /><br />Or at least, the gross brand thereof. I finally just gave up on feminism pretty much entirely. Too many people from Bizarro World.Trinityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06846032433424879965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-18251364201173390602009-05-31T17:29:06.699-05:002009-05-31T17:29:06.699-05:00Dw3th,
I actually had no idea so many people were...Dw3th,<br /><br />I actually had no idea so many people were against bdsm until I first joined feministing. Go figure.ggg_girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00913576641960791118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-70695219523660327442009-05-31T16:34:54.586-05:002009-05-31T16:34:54.586-05:00Having just spent some time reading women who said...Having just spent some time reading women who said male victims of rape should shut the fuck up, whenever women are present:<br /><br />thank you, Kiya.MPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15904412888243979076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-49408837544546930332009-05-31T05:05:44.148-05:002009-05-31T05:05:44.148-05:00Well, it looks like becstar's been banned now so h...Well, it looks like becstar's been banned now so hopefully there won't be any more of her outlandish comments. I have no idea how it devolved into an offensive racist thread about comparing BDSM to slavery, but I guess we can always count on becstar for that.ggg_girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00913576641960791118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-74112634388518197032009-05-31T01:23:42.945-05:002009-05-31T01:23:42.945-05:00Yep, Eve. There are a lot of people who are reall...Yep, Eve. There are a <I>lot</I> of people who are really vehement anti-BDSMers, whose basic opinion is that it's antifeminist and recapitulating patriarchy and the like.<br /><br />Every so often it erupts with the dwamas and I post one of these wee screaming fits.Dw3t-Hthrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11584245136407694660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-18474160694923002492009-05-31T01:10:47.033-05:002009-05-31T01:10:47.033-05:00Must say it's kind of validating to see that other...Must say it's kind of validating to see that others on Feministing, who weren't part of the other convo at all, experienced becstar in the same way we did, to the point of banning. <br /><br />but yeah, there were other headdesky things. yeah okay, a roller coaster ride is not a relationship. Neither is any particular sex act, but one might still like to do them within the -context- of a relationship, which is what the coaster analogy is about. (A relationship like a roller coaster is usually something else imo)<br /><br />but of course wossname wouldn't be okay with that either because SCREE zomg it's DIFFERENT it's SPECIAL you can't TALK about these things this way it's SRS BIZNESS and there can only be one context blah blah bliddy blah zzzZZZzzz just go away then.belledame222https://www.blogger.com/profile/13947289856453172848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-46690885685711417242009-05-30T22:23:04.132-05:002009-05-30T22:23:04.132-05:00Wait a minute. There are people who think BDSM is ...Wait a minute. There are people who think BDSM is degrading?!? Or somehow anti-woman? I don't get it. Since when is it degrading to do something you enjoy? With people who enjoy it too? When everyone involved wants to be doing exactly what they're doing? What does that have to do with the patriarchy? I'm confused.<br /><br />I always thought that if I liked something kinky (being submissive, for example), and wanted to share that with a willing partner, it was MY choice and didn't detract from my strength or self-determination as a woman in any way. I thought the point was enjoying my sexuality and my partner's sexuality in whatever way works for both of us. Oh wait, I still think that! Again, I'm not being told to do that by the patriarchy, I'm choosing it. So what's the problem?<br /><br />Also, what's so bad about hurting, if it's desired? Hurting is not the same as harming. I have several ear piercings and a tattoo, and they all hurt when I got them, but they didn't harm me because I chose to get them. (and of course people who don't want them shouldn't get them because that would be harmful) Pretty much the same thing Natalia said about running (which I also find painful but a lot of fun).<br /><br />I liked what you said about the little girl who didn't want to be tickled. Particularly because when I was a little girl, I HATED being tickled, but people (grown-ups) wouldn't stop until I started crying.<br /><br />Awesome angry post! :)Evehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17055554674087590194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-459361069827548952009-05-30T21:59:33.541-05:002009-05-30T21:59:33.541-05:00I hadn't seen that bit on SM-F where you and Trini...I hadn't seen that bit on SM-F where you and Trinity and others were so awesome in letting Becstar know that her boyfriend pushing her into BDSM was emphatically not okay and in fact abusive. You are my new blogging heroes. Seriously.<br /><br />I find it heartbreaking that Becstar is turning on the very people that have been trying so hard to help her.Erin C.https://www.blogger.com/profile/18150218510083075031noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-43688375076799098912009-05-30T15:12:24.495-05:002009-05-30T15:12:24.495-05:00Natalia -- Exactly! And I don't understand why th...Natalia -- Exactly! And I don't understand why these people can't figure out that they get hostile reactions not because of defensiveness against the obvious rightness of their position, but because they're <I>paternalistic infantilising assholes telling women they're not smart enough to run their own lives</I>.<br /><br />Deoridhe -- Yep. It was a joke, har har har. I had mentioned that piercings were a hard limit for me (not in a kink context, just in an ordinary social context) and was told that that could be "fixed". Pet theory: I'm female, you know, which means that I <I>really want</I> to have pierced ears so that I can decorate myself better, even if I say otherwise.Dw3t-Hthrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11584245136407694660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-73048926313107704482009-05-30T14:41:07.201-05:002009-05-30T14:41:07.201-05:00@deoridhe:
Yeah, I've had exactly the same experi...@deoridhe:<br /><br />Yeah, I've had exactly the same experience with BDSM that went south. People trying their best to put things right.Trinityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06846032433424879965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-59985031417764832352009-05-30T14:31:25.929-05:002009-05-30T14:31:25.929-05:00WTF, people have "jokingly" threatened to forcibly...WTF, people have "jokingly" threatened to forcibly pierce your ears? What kind of fucked up people would think that was appropriate in any way?<br /><br />You know, what I always end up tripping over every time is my own experiences... that people not into BDSM are perfectly happyt ot ry to humiliate me (non-consensually) all the time and somehow that's ok, but the fact that once I asked my old Master to humiliate me because I thought I was too proud, it went south badly, and he spent hours putting me back together again (and now I know that's a hard limit) is horrible and awful and evil.<br /><br />It just... all I can think to say is, "Fuck off."Deoridhehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17235419292633778692noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-7389051949723297542009-05-30T12:51:22.366-05:002009-05-30T12:51:22.366-05:00I love, love, love, love, love this post.I love, love, love, love, love this post.violethttp://violacious.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-86051267176103978292009-05-30T11:27:34.535-05:002009-05-30T11:27:34.535-05:00*wild applause*
That comments thread made me so v...*wild applause*<br /><br />That comments thread made me so very, very angry. Your takedown is awesome.Alexhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01476739382162784615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-91782746605935176922009-05-30T08:48:57.769-05:002009-05-30T08:48:57.769-05:00I was actually rather innocently skimming Feminist...I was actually rather innocently skimming Feministing when I came upon that blow-up with the roller coaster rides (and immediately remembered Every Woman). I honestly don't know how people put up with this stuff anymore. "Here are some of my experience and what I've thought about..." "SHUT UP! YOU'RE PRO-RAPE!!!"<br /><br />Okay then. <br /><br />This logic infuriates me because it essentially assumes that women are idiots. It reinforces all sorts of patriarchal standards, down to the very fundamentalist ones that posit that women should never leave their house, lest they wreak havoc with society. Living in Jordan, I run up against it EVERY OTHER DAY. It's exhausting, infuriating, and hurtful. <br /><br />You know, I like running. Love it. I love the way it makes me feel and look. But running can also hurt - it can make me feel exhausted and out of breath, it can hurt muscles and tendons, cause cramps, etc. I personally don't view running as anything similar to BDSM - but it is an activity I CHOOSE, so I guess it must be suspect as well, right? I mean, if there's no such thing as choice, I couldn't possibly consent to buying a pair of running shoes and hitting the pavement, it's such a postmodern concept anyway, oh and there are people who hate running and say it makes them feel like torture, so their opinion has to be more valid... right?<br /><br />I guess I'm a fool who needs to be disabused of her notions. Actually, it's worse than that - I'm not a mere fool, I'm a WOMAN, who needs to be told exactly what to do, lest she hurts herself and brings the human race down with her.Nataliahttp://nataliaantonova.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-46352274491614787612009-05-30T03:37:11.914-05:002009-05-30T03:37:11.914-05:00SEriously though, it's not even "I'm every woman!"...SEriously though, it's not even "I'm every woman!" It's <A HREF="http://fetchmemyaxe.blogspot.com/2006/06/and-now-kreplach-joke.html" REL="nofollow">kreplach.</A>belledame222https://www.blogger.com/profile/13947289856453172848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-34649300566913457402009-05-30T03:08:03.193-05:002009-05-30T03:08:03.193-05:00oh ffs. "Research??" Honey, chatting a bit on t...oh ffs. "Research??" Honey, chatting a bit on the Internet (and not even listening to the people you're supposedly talking to) isn't -research-. Ass.belledame222https://www.blogger.com/profile/13947289856453172848noreply@blogger.com