tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post9025041200531588544..comments2023-08-09T03:21:13.354-05:00Comments on Letters from Gehenna: The World on a Slant: Bodies 4: Seeing Clearly (Is the Rain Gone?)Dw3t-Hthrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11584245136407694660noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-76838625226551826852007-12-02T23:30:00.000-05:002007-12-02T23:30:00.000-05:00That's it. CREEPY! It's not like it happens all ...That's it. CREEPY! It's not like it happens all the time, but you can see it does enough that we have a word for it. <BR/><BR/>L'Ailee once had a very charming straight male student who looked at the pair of us together and finally said, "You're both so pretty, but it's such different *kinds* of pretty." He had been bemoaning his single status. I told him he wouldn't be single for long with that attitude. And I was right!<BR/><BR/>If there were more like him in this world--not just men, but women too--it would be a nicer place, definitely.CrackerLilohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18176388186521154104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-38357356639170521432007-12-01T17:00:00.000-05:002007-12-01T17:00:00.000-05:00And by creepy I mean -- gods forbid that a woman b...And by creepy I mean -- gods forbid that a woman be able to be attractive as a <I>whole</I> thing, or complete of herself without needing some external person to say, "You know, if you rearranged your body parts and swapped some with your wife ...."Dw3t-Hthrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11584245136407694660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-35629235253189687912007-12-01T16:44:00.000-05:002007-12-01T16:44:00.000-05:00What I'm going for is a society where we're all se...<I>What I'm going for is a society where we're all seen as "real women." </I><BR/><BR/>WORD. I wish.<BR/><BR/><I>The worst is that sometimes, a man will try and "complement" us both by what we call "Frankensteining" us. He'll say the perfect woman would have her waist, abs, and skin, my tits, ass, and hair, etc. Why can't he say women of all sizes have beautiful parts, or are just plain beautiful?</I><BR/><BR/>Because that wouldn't be CREEPY enough.Dw3t-Hthrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11584245136407694660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-15359573697232564102007-12-01T16:35:00.000-05:002007-12-01T16:35:00.000-05:00Oh! I forgot to mention--we *both* get self-consc...Oh! I forgot to mention--we *both* get self-conscious in the store, skinny little her and chubby little me, when someone looks at our carts a little too closely! Because either way, some idiot sometimes *does*! I just try not to do that to anyone else.<BR/><BR/>*rolls eyes to heaven*CrackerLilohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18176388186521154104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-22975850529494445132007-12-01T16:33:00.001-05:002007-12-01T16:33:00.001-05:00I am a heavier/curvier woman, and a bottom for the...I am a heavier/curvier woman, and a bottom for the most part, and I don't like that "real woman" idea. What I'm going for is a society where we're all seen as "real women." <BR/><BR/>I have to say, however, that I would probably not have been as sympathetic to thinner womens' concerns had I not, well, fallen in love and lived with one. And I still sometimes want to say, "Don't complain to *me* about not finding womens' pants that your snaky little hips don't swim in!" Makes me wonder where the hope for straight women is.<BR/><BR/>The worst is that sometimes, a man will try and "complement" us both by what we call "Frankensteining" us. He'll say the perfect woman would have her waist, abs, and skin, my tits, ass, and hair, etc. Why can't he say women of all sizes have beautiful parts, or are just plain beautiful?<BR/><BR/>Gotta be a better way...CrackerLilohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18176388186521154104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-51928890535129264332007-12-01T16:33:00.000-05:002007-12-01T16:33:00.000-05:00A while back on my livejournal I wrote a terribly ...A while back on my livejournal I wrote a terribly salacious description of a baked potato ... with butter and cheese and sour cream and scallions and bacon bits ... mmm.<BR/><BR/>Pretty sure I titled the entry 'food porn'.<BR/><BR/>And gods forbid you go back for seconds, right? Or don't 'Oh, maybe just a little, no a little less than that' when someone's cutting a piece of pie for you.<BR/><BR/>And I've been meaning to make cookies for <I>days</I>. Maybe I'll get off my ass and do that.<BR/><BR/>After I have my spaghetti. WITH CHEESE. AND LOTS OF BUTTER.Dw3t-Hthrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11584245136407694660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-40795888031010978252007-12-01T16:21:00.000-05:002007-12-01T16:21:00.000-05:00I'm 50, and I've grown to feel entitled to a cooki...I'm 50, and I've grown to feel <I>entitled</I> to a cookie, dammit, but if I say "Hey, where's the chocolate?" at a gathering of middle-class women of any age, it's often as if I have said "Where's the dick?" or "Where's the pussy?" or something like that. In short, it's DIRTY. I have admitted to a FORBIDDEN DESIRE and it's therefore DIRTY. Seriously, that's the look on their faces; that's the shock I feel in the room. <I>She said she wanted chocolate, OMG!</I> (And yes, I'm chubby but not huge.) <BR/><BR/>I am always HOPING to give them the feeling that THEY may have permission to eat chocolate, too, but they honestly look too startled and freaked out by admission, to claim the same thing for themselves. Some tentatively will chime in "Sounds good!" but you can see: they feel pretty DARING for chiming it. (see sex analogy, above)<BR/><BR/>Along these same lines, I think all these FOOD shows on TV, the popular "foodie" explosion, TOP CHEF; all those photo spreads in <I>Food and Wine, Gourmet</I> and <I>SAVEUR</I> magazine, etc... are sort of like porn, then. Right? The FORBIDDEN THING is food, so let's slobber all over it in photographs, pretty coffee-table books and TV shows. <BR/><BR/>Anyway, you hit a nerve with this post, thanks for sparking conversation and thinking. :)Daisyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16354486841414802245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-53864636255007825502007-12-01T16:15:00.000-05:002007-12-01T16:15:00.000-05:00Thank you for noting that bit -- I'd actually kind...Thank you for noting that bit -- I'd actually kind of missed how <I>much</I> of that stuff is "Who is permitted to be sexual and how", how much of it is tied up with that sense of ... women's bodies need external sexual verification to be legit.<BR/><BR/>The enforcement is so *often* sexual-attraction: "that kind of woman won't take the right kind of sex"; "that kind of woman gets the kind of man I want"; "that kind of woman will only get a man I am characterising as defective"; "that kind of woman is only good for this sort of interaction"; "nobody will love you if you look like that". All that bullshit, with sometime bonus other bigotries (like the tacit homophobia and gender-norm-enforcing in 'only a gay man would want you').<BR/><BR/>I think disentangling the many forces that go into this can only help with, as you say, regaining pride, even if it's a horrible social Gordian knot and too large for any one of us to likely be able to tackle all of it.Dw3t-Hthrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11584245136407694660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4427538608110635294.post-5608468371492831302007-12-01T11:10:00.000-05:002007-12-01T11:10:00.000-05:00"People who felt that the best way to support the ..."People who felt that the best way to support the heavier/curvier women they preferred was to proclaim them the only real women, capable of handling the affection of a real man without breaking."<BR/><BR/>Yeah, I always felt weird about that one too. I mean, I do think I have privilege being thin... but I'm a top. It's really not fun for someone to say "You're gonna break!" because, well, first, why is this person presuming that he's getting inside me and allowed to try to *split me in half*, as if not only my worth is bound up in something I don't much want to do, but I won't even have any, because "real sex", which I am, of course, fake and un-female (in a way that doesn't respect, say, my masculinity or genderqueerness, which might be fine) would kill me? Why is that reassuring? <BR/><BR/>I mean, I get that it can feel good to displace hatred. I know I've said some vicious things about vanilla people -- even about female sexual bottoms when I've felt horribly insecure. So I don't blame them, and if it makes them feel better, why not say it? It really DOES have so little to do with my reality and my body that it makes no sense.<BR/><BR/>Still, I found that for me with other issues, sneering at more "standard" sexualities really didn't help me regain my pride. It just spread around the same old hate in a new package, maybe a package that was a little helpful to deviants like me, but...<BR/><BR/>...still, it's not like society loves proud straight female sexual bottoms, either, really. They're sluts or they're whores or they're brainwashed or pandering to men. That doesn't really hit me as the kind of privileged person who oppresses me. It seems like same hate (hatred of females with sexualities of their own, whatever they might be) different day.<BR/><BR/>And that makes me a little curious. How do we recapture pride when some of this is about fat v. thin, and yet some of it is about hatred of *female bodies* as sexual in any way?Trinityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06846032433424879965noreply@blogger.com