So Tell Me ... What's The Weather Like on YOUR Planet?

03 November, 2007

How I Horrified The Shrink

It was probably a couple of months after I broke up with my first boyfriend, the one who assaulted me. Maybe a year after, the following summer, I mean. I was still a little shellshocked about it all, was wanting to talk about it with someone, was finally coming into a place where maybe I could. It was a bright, sunny day; I remember the light coming in through the windows.

I was old enough to not trust my mother with information right out, but not so old that I didn't try to hope she might turn somehow motherly if I gave her the chance. And I can't remember the context of the conversation, whether we were having some dispute, whether I brought it up out of the blue, any of that.

I asked her, "Did you ever wonder why [the ex] never calls anymore?" I think it was relevant to the conversation, or something.

She shrugged. "I figured he'd forced himself on you," like it was just something to shrug about, like it was normal, expected, something completely unworthy of comment.

I had no idea how to deal with someone who thought I had been raped and could not bring herself to care.

I fled.


Elizabeth said...

Hey you -

I haven't stopped by with a hug in a bit. Seems like a good time.

*hug* *hug* *hug* <-- they were backed up

Not being mothered as a child sucks. I'm sorry.

hugs, E

Trinity said...

holy fuck. wow.

Griff said...

Yep. My mom's reaction when I told her I'd been raped by a boyfriend was "No, you mean you had sex with him. It wasn't rape. Don't pretend it was."

Because he was my boyfriend, it couldn't be rape. Isn't that a wonderful message to give to a 15-year-old? I thought so, too. Really.