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27 February, 2009

To The Two-Year-Old of the Blogosphere

You know the one, who's harassing people trying to get shit done with the perpetual "Why? Why? Why?" After pondering some discussions over at Let Them Eat Pro-SM Feminist Safe Spaces, and Trin's examination of her own kink stuff, I present:

Why Dw3t-Hthr is submissive. (Insert little sparkly bits around this, or a nice scrolling banner, or whatever floats your pervy little boat.)


  1. My perfectionistic, protocol-happy, rigid, and unforgiving-of-error personality makes a sucktastic leader, and a spectacular enforcer/majordomo/chief minion.

  2. My wacked-out executive functions deal poorly with surprise, unanticipated situations, or anything for which I cannot bring to mind a previously evaluated protocol. In other words: I think very poorly under pressure.

  3. I am sensitive to social dynamics involving subtle power flows (largely for reasons of self-protection) and thus far more comfortable in a defined heirarchy (especially when compared to one of those groups that claims to have "consensus-based" decision-making and refuses to acknowledge the power differentials within the group because it's ideologically unacceptable to notice them).

  4. I reject on a gut level the social expectation that I am obliged to be compliant to other people's desires and ideologies, and operate in a system where my level of obligation is under my own control.

  5. Even if I have been partially socialised into an expectation of vulnerability and malleability (which has a fuck of a lot more to do with my mother's insanity than any particular patriarchy construct), my earliest fantasies that acknowledged that focused on connecting with a person who would find me and cherish me in defiance of that cultural expectation rather than treating me like a faceless automaton just like all the others.

  6. I take strongly after my father in base personality; I am sentimental, deeply emotional, a caretaker and nurturer, and drawn to being a support figure. (See also the umpty-leven posts I've written in the past bitching about the cultural degradation of support roles.)

  7. I am profoundly fascinated by the exploration of altered states of consciousness, ranging from meditative trance through to careful studies of the effects of alcohol on my cognition. Part of this is a control-freak awareness that the more cognizant I am of the various functionalities of my brain the more likely I am to be able to navigate situations safely; part of this is simply mental-sensation junkieness.

  8. I benefit strongly from situations in which my adequacy, success, and general worthiness as a human being not only are acknowledged, but extensively supported.

  9. I believe that people are best off operating from their strengths and core drives rather than displacing their selves into what sorts of power others think they ought to be pursuing.

  10. I am not dissociative enough to have a sexuality constructed separately from the entire rest of my being.


I don't expect that this will be good enough for some people, but that's not my fucking problem. I've answered your question.

11 comments:

Trinity said...

You win. :D

Erin said...

*is seriously impressed*

Dw3t-Hthr said...

I will admit that I am not entirely certain what is so awesome about this, but I thank you for your appreciation. :}

DaisyDeadhead said...

Go Team #7! :D

Seven is a cosmic lucky number, of course, as you well know.

(((ingests mushrooms before reading further....forgets to read further...)))

Dw3t-Hthr said...

*grins at Daisy*

Kristin said...

Great post, Dw3t-Hthr!

*is seriously impressed along with Erin*

Erin said...

What's awesome is that you took the knife they were trying to gut you with and broke it in two, saying, "Is that all you've got?"

belledame222 said...

It is a great post.

belledame222 said...

one of those groups that claims to have "consensus-based" decision-making and refuses to acknowledge the power differentials within the group because it's ideologically unacceptable to notice them)

This. Oh god, this. Yeah...I dunno if defined hierarchy is always my personal solution (depends on the sitch, but usually no), but otoh sometimes you do need it, and for sure you need structure and not to gloss over um yeah, just because you're pretending something isn't in the room doesn't mean it isn't.

electronic doll said...

Lovely post. I've been musing recently on from where my own submission comes from, beyond my standard response to the "why?" question which is usually just "because it's who I am and I love it"

Food for thought, thank you

MP said...

Thank you, Dw3t-Hthr!

I found this blog because one of my SO's pointed me at Renegade, and I saw your comment in "let them eat".

Thank you for what you have said.