So Tell Me ... What's The Weather Like on YOUR Planet?

02 July, 2008

Meant for Someone Else

Do you believe?

The voice spoke, murmuring theology in the tones of trance, with cadences of sensuous eroticism; the voice spoke, talking about souls and connections and the flow of the universe, self and other, serpent and avian, union, transformation.

Do you believe?

I have never believed.

I just do. That which works, that which is, the flow and shape of things, the symbols that are used to frame it. This experience: what is it? I have no belief. I take it as it is.

The voice speaks, teasing, drawing out response; even in the heat of the day, it raises goosebumps. I can feel the knot of responsiveness, letting the shape of the visualisation flow in my mind, knowing my reactions, a thin thread of pining for company to share these effects with.

Do you believe?

Is it real?

The slick of sweat is real. The fluid tension knotted up beneath my belly is real. These are sensations, tangible, physical.

Another time, two voices, his and hers, calling to each other across the throng, over the chant, over the sound of drums and the singing bowl an armspan across, teasing, pleading, taunting, loving, as they circle.

Do you believe?

Is it real?

Is it all in your mind?

I have never believed. Belief is a foreign country to me, perhaps too much science, perhaps too much mysticism, perhaps simply the acceptance of the scope and span of the unknowable, the limitation acknowledged of the intrinsic subjectivity of my own senses.

Do you believe?

I feel sometimes, a little, around the edges, that I almost might be able to imagine what belief is.

Gnosis, I can do. Trust, I can do.



And yet, when the gods touched, the heavens opened.

1 comment:

Daisy said...

When you "believe"--it is like when you go to the light switch, and expect it to actually turn on the light. And then it does.

If you did that enough times and it DIDN'T WORK, you might lose your faith in the light switch. So that if it ever did start working again (someone fixed the switch/changed the bulb), you would still have doubts every time you reached for it.

So, the task is to see the ACT OF REACHING FOR THE LIGHT SWITCH as the virtue in and of ITSELF--the "act of faith": the desire to SHED LIGHT--the good thing, the aspect of your personality that wants to enlighten and to learn, to see, to continue to grow, etc.

This blather courtesy of an old AA analogy (light switch) by way of Kierkegaard (leap of faith)...

Great post!